// the brunettes chronicle //

Overwhelmed — that is it. 

Between everything I am involved in and my job.. I am overwhelmed. I am wondering and questioning a lot of things. I am taking one day at a time. The opportunities are pouring in and I don’t know how to respond, except to retreat. Confidence in myself? I have none. My emotions are rising and I don’t know how to articulate any of this… The only thing I honestly want to do is throw up. 

Abba, bring peace. That is all I ask. 

One word I feel — Overwhelmed — that is it. 

Valentines Day. This day surpasses any day of the year for me. Most Valentines Days…. Aren’t any different than the day before or day after. But for some reason, my heart is expectant for love to encounter me. For some reason, I have more hope in life and Abba on Valentines Day, than the day before. I am reminded of why humanity exists. Love has a holiday all to itself….. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. It’s a phenomena really. This emotion, feeling, reality, and truth called love is desired by every human. Not one person can refute love. 

I can try and run from letting my walls fall down. I can try and fill any part of my heart with hollow objects. I can try and carry myself as Miss Independent.. try and be super woman. Yet at the of end the day, I am only fooling myself. I want to be loved while someone sees the darkest parts of my heart. I want be loved wholly. I want to be loved without contempt. I can’t deny the reality of love any longer. I must surrender to love. 

So, let us raise our glasses and make a toast to love. Here is to love that awakens our souls. Here is to love that requires infinite amount of vulnerability. Here is to love when it’s not sparkly and pretty. Most of all, here is to love that must surrender.